I fucking draw the line at nudity.

A few weeks ago I had to fly to DC for some business.  I flew Virgin America.  If Virgin America was a woman, I’d cheat on my wife.  They understand the psychology of what frustrates people on planes so well, and have architected the experience so perfectly, that I’m in love.

Anyway, I flew SFO to Dulles (IAD) and went through security.  I was busy taking off my shoes, pulling out my liquids, removing my laptop, when it was my turn to go through the metal detector.  It was an odd looking one, and I was in it, holding my arms over my head, when I realized it was the through-clothes imaging device.

I felt entirely hoodwinked.  The sign that explains what it is is right up against the scanner, and you’re not in any position to make a decision with 100 people behind you tapping their foot, and the TSA guy in front of you telling you to walk in and put your arms in the air.

It aggravated me so, I went back out and re-entered security in a normal, traditional metal detector line, just so I could get a look at the sign.  No way does anyone read it.   Too small type, awful placement.

Today, I had to fly and I had an extra hour, so I decided I was drawing a line.  I do not believe I need to be photographed with technology that creates a nude photo of myself.  I gave my id and boarding pass to the last TSA screener and announced, “I don’t care that the only line has the nude scanner, I’m not going through it”

He was surprisingly helpful, “No problem sir, tell them when you get up front that you want to be patted down.”

At that moment they opened a traditional metal detector line and I was saved from getting groped by going through a plain old metal detector.

You have a choice, and I urge you to refuse to use this technology.  The TSA does not engage in security to protect us, merely security theater.  Given the abuses of the last eight years, I don’t believe that there’s any kind of adequate protection on the data collected by these scanners.

Draw the line at nudity.