I don’t really need to conduct my grieving in public, so this is the last word. On my next trip home I’ll be scanning old photos of my mother and family to go into my perpetual flickr archive, as insurance against degrading media. If you subscribe to my photos, you will see the ones I make public.
[Incidentally, I flubbed my speech at the funeral. Couldn’t just read my speech as written. My sisters were brilliant of course. I guess nothing ever changes.]
I’ve suggested to Sarah that we set aside a room in our home for her mother to stay with us on whatever schedule she thinks is appropriate. She seems very happy here getting to know her only grandson and being close to her only daughter and son-in-law. She arrived before Thanksgiving, and has been utterly, and completely charming and helpful. She’s in her 70’s, and I’m suddenly aware of how much time she has.
At the moment I am numb. Today I am forcing myself to go through the motions of work. If I do this repeatedly, I assume it will start to feel like life.