This guy is bemoaning the departure of wreck of an ex-girlfriend, who could, as he put it, ‘suck dick like a pornstar’. Dude, I don’t mean to get all Dan Savage on your ass, but take the emotional Cadillac you’re dating and make her into a bad, bad girl. If you love her enough she’ll do it to please you. Much easier to do that, than to fix the fucked up your pornstar-quality girl. After all, when you’re 70 years old, she’s not gonna look so good, and you’re not going to be able to take advantage of any of those in-bed skills she has anyway.