And I’m not even invited to have pancakes…

Listening to: The incessant prattle of the “wild raiser” to my left. I wish I could move, but there’s at least an hour wait for another seat at a different table here.

411: The Borgata Poker Room, $2/$4 table, Atlantic City, NJ

When I play against family members at the same table, like when I played against three siblings as I did in Florida recently, I’m generally uncomfortable with my prospects. Stated overtly or not, they’re having the following conversation in their head:

Husband: I wonder how the babysitter’s holding up? Oh hey, look, I got J5s. Man I love that Jackson Five song, what was that called… “CALL”

Wife: Oh! Pocket Aces! My baby’s so cute when when he gets J5, he always makes those funny noises. God if I don’t raise these, I’ll never hear the end of it. “RAISE IT UP”

Me: Hm, pair of queens. Best hand I’ve had in an hour. Better call. “CALL”

Husband: What the hell, it’s my money two out of three times anyway..”CALL”

The flop comes AQ5 rainbow…

Husband: You gotta be raising or folding, at least that’s what I keep telling my wife, who’s probably got AKo.. so…”BET”

Wife: He’s so cocky, thinking he can pushme out of this pot, I’ll show him, “RAISE”.

Me: Hm, this could be trouble…”CALL”

Husband: Oh no, I’ll not get pushed out of this, I taught her how to play poker! “RAISE”

Eventually the odds get big enough to justify just about anything, and…well, you get the idea. I funded their babysitter that night.

This wasn’t as bad as that time in Florida when three siblings found themselves in a pot with me and started raising each other while discussing where they were going to go for pancakes. In a four-way pot, I was playing a slightly weaker hand than I should have been, but I was encouraged by the fact that the two younger siblings kept having to ask about how to bet, etc.

Clearly, though, they were having a grand time, raising and re-raising each other. My role in all of this was to pay for the pancakes, and I did, but I wasn’t invited along to join them for breakfast.

In the example above at the Borgata, the husband and wife team were both competent players. A friend of theirs, playing in between them while wearing Elvis shades, was also getting a decent run of luck. Between the couple, they relieved the wild raiser to my left (bastard!) of $200 in about thirty minutes. He was none too happy and started screeching when the husband began racking the wife’s chips for her. “You can’t take money off the table until you stand up and leave!”

Get over it buddy, you got played. Learn a lesson for next time.