Soundtrack: “As Long As I Live”, Jerry Lee Lewis
It’s raining today. Weather.Com has those little cloud logos that suggest that I’m going to do exactly what I do every day but a little more miserably (ride the motorcycle into work and then barbecue dinner on my grill….in the rain).
That’s ok, I’ve got a special waterproof rainsuit for riding the motorcycle. Sarah gave it to me for my birthday. But the leaves are all over the ground. It’s worse than ice, to ride on wet leaves. At least ice has a consistent slickness, and it’s short, so you only have to stay up for a few feet until you hit pavement again.
But wet leaves suck. If I wreck and die on wet leaves, I want you all to promise that you’ll cremate my body and throw it in a large body of water, so that the ashes can’t possibly be turned into soil for a leaf-bearing tree.
And then you’ll each go and cut down a leafy tree and replace it with two conifers that drops nothing but pine needles.
Punk ass trees, that’ll show ’em.